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Staying Home for the Holidays

For a few minutes on a lovely, unseasonably warm November day, I step out of my car at a park out of an urge to be near other humans…To be momentarily connected to strangers without any interaction.

With paperwork in hand, I perch myself sidewise on a bench between a walking path and playground, leaning my shoulder against the backrest.  With the halfhearted intent of getting a bit of work done in the beautiful afternoon air, I feel stumped.  I’m simply not feeling it.

 In what would otherwise be a social setting, I observe everyone around me separated and keeping to themselves. Singles, couples, and all the way up to a whopping four humans in some cases, participating in their own private corners, like small clusters of distant light in the universe.

Some groups or singles wore masks, others didn’t, but all kept their distance. Unless they arrived together, no one got closer than about 10 feet.

I watch as four children play on the playground, but only with their siblings or parents. Each child cluster on a completely separate play equipment set than any other cluster. Not crossing paths. Not interacting like kids normally would. And I, myself, avoiding sitting on the swings or climbing across the bouncy rope bridge that I normally wouldn’t think twice about.

Some people are walking their dogs, others walk or jog. Two people play tennis with each other at the tennis courts beyond the playground and another shoots hoops on his own.

It’s not a terribly unusual weekday sight, but not quite normal either.

I wonder if my strange version of seeking out some human connections is truly useful, or if it just leaves me longing for something more…human.

I have been enjoying the world while I keep working, keep busy, talk to people through machines, work on my garden…  

I practice self-care as often as I can… or remember to.

I have my bubble of humans that I get to interact with physically. Close family, it’s small, but often enough.

Phone calls, Zoom, and other distanced social behavior helps fill in some of the void.

What really brought me here today was the prospect that we are only a week out from Thanksgiving and a month from Christmas.

I know that the Earth will continue to do its thing and keep turning, and we will move forward with it and find a place with safety, connectedness, and vaccines ready for the masses. I realize next years’ holiday season will likely be as usual and uplifting as those of the past. Maybe more so because of this year.

But this one…for this one, I will need to be content with spending it with a limited crew, and attempting to digitize a portion of my world and holiday time to include as much of my normal holiday relationships as I can.

I imagine it makes me ponder why these particular events hold so much more importance to us…to me. Is it the shorter days? The cold that keeps us indoors more? If in the southern hemisphere, would I feel the same? Is it the winds blowing in seasonal scents and thoughts?  The need for the hugs/touches/just plain human interaction…not at a distance?

Why should the world suddenly seem just a bit harder to manage in the pandemic now than earlier? My own routine hasn’t changed that much from then to now. Though my holiday plans will be different.

Maybe it’s all of that, maybe it’s none of it.

Sitting here watching people continue to do their thing…exercise, talk, even the children playing, I expect that even this strange holiday season will bring its own light and beauty into the world.

And So…here I sit, on a bench in a park.  Alone.  Watching strangers pass by at a distance as the sun peaks through the clouds, and I am beginning to look forward to what promises to be an odd, interesting, and creative holiday season. And I smile at the promise of the future that will come beyond, with the New Year.

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Staying Positive in Pandemic Isolation

Yes, self-isolation is a wild ride. There are ups and downs: way less wear and tear on vehicles and extremely low fuel costs (even without the cost of fuel plummeting at the beginning of the pandemic). More quality time with family…too much quality time with family…it can go both ways. Fewer obligations… Exceptionally short commutes for meetings.

Of course, there’s also the part with limited social activities, limited people to spend time with, and, for many, limited funds. There seems to be a general tension among many.

One nice thing is that many people are getting used to wearing masks and seeing others with them on, reducing tensions about safety while out.

We are coming up with digital ways of socializing. In warmer climates and summer months, there has even been playing games or socializing across balconies, alleyways, streets, and bonfires. I’ve heard of block parties where each house hangs out at the end of their driveways and chats across the street or yard to the other participants. When faced with problems, we can come up with an abundance of solutions. People are surviving and even thriving in the face of something most of us have not experienced before.

So how does one stay positive?

One way is to keep informed by reading the data and scientific research. Being aware of where things are going and what is known currently can be a big help for some. There are a lot of good resources for data out there. I like worldometers.info/coronavirus, the WHO and the CDC.  If you need more info, check their sources and links to original data.

Some people are trying to find ways of assisting in a solution by sewing masks, revamping technology, offering free solutions to learning and socializing, printing face shields, donating food to the needy….  For some offering what assistance they can gives a powerfully positive feeling.

Take time for yourself.

Be aware of your mental health needs.

Let yourself feel whatever it is you need to feel.

If you’re happy, sad, frustrated, whatever. Find a safe environment for yourself and let it out. Go into a room by yourself, take a walk in the forest, step outside, head to your workshop…  Then sing, cry, scream, yell at the world, punch a pillow, whatever you need to do to safely experience and release your emotions that you don’t feel comfortable (for whatever reason) letting out in the normal course of your day.

If you can talk to someone about how you feel, the simple act of sharing and letting feelings go that way can be quite beneficial.

Another way to deal with emotions…write. Write what you’re feeling. Even if it’s something that you don’t want anyone else to see.   You can shred it, burn it, keep it in a book, throw it away when you finish, or delete it.  All acceptable.

Tip: If you are writing about someone who you often email or in a response to an email, make sure you do your writing in another program. Use programs like Word, Pages, Notes, or even go old school and write it on paper. If you intend to send it to the person, give yourself a few hours or even overnight and make sure what you wrote still fits your needs and is well written before you hit the send button.

Digital ideas:

Digital trivia night, meetings, digital concerts (you can give them or watch them), create your own show, meetup with friends over digital mediums, take a digital museum tour or walk through a national park. Learn something new. Take a class. Teach a class if you have something to share.

Analog Ideas:

Take up a hobby you always wanted to. Try your hand at painting, drawing, photography, grow something, sew something. Learn to cook some new dishes. Finish something you haven’t had time for. Build something.

Meditate, Take some quiet time for yourself. Exercise, spend time outdoors.

Maybe a strange comment for a generally isolated time, but if you are with your family, each family member needs some time completely alone. Even if you are completely alone, taking time to meditate or whatever you need to do to truly hear yourself, be truly in touch with your needs, to ground yourself. Find a way to take a few minutes out to slow down and center yourself.

Read a favorite book. Read a new book. Write a new book. 

Clean your entire house top to bottom. Get rid of your clutter you’ve been meaning to get to. Or at least box it up and label it if it’s meant to be donated or recycled at locations that are not accepting donations currently.

Some places still are accepting donations. Especially food pantries.

Take a hike, ride a bike, try new things, delve deep and find things that make you happy.

Share your accomplishments and brilliant ideas.

You can always call up your family and friends or see them on a digital medium to share and maybe even party! BYOB, and no issues with drinking and driving.

Bonus: When you’re tired, you can just sign off and walk the ten feet to go to bed.